It's the middle of October, and if your messages with your brother look anything like mine, the last three are a football score, a blurry photo of something beige he cooked, and "you coming at Christmas or what". Truly moving stuff.
Brothers are famously hard to buy for. Ask what he wants and he'll say "nothing, don't bother", then look a bit wounded when you take him at his word. A mug gets round that nicely. He'll use it every day, he doesn't have to make any effort to like it, and every brew reminds him that you exist. Which is really the whole point.
Our Brother Mugs are the obvious place to start. But brothers come in a few different types, so here's how we'd choose depending on which one you've got.
The big brother who still thinks he's in charge
He was in charge once, briefly, when you were seven and he was eleven and Mum had popped to the shops. He has never let it go. For him, pick something from the Brother Mugs that makes a proper fuss of him. He'll take it as overdue recognition of his rank. You can take it as irony. Everybody's happy.
Give it to him in front of the rest of the family if you can. He'll pretend to be embarrassed and won't be in the slightest.
The little brother who's somehow taller than you now
Little brothers get a cheekier mug. It's tradition. Have a look through the Funny & Comical Mugs for something that suits his sense of humour, which is probably about the same as it was when he was twelve.
If your family can take a ruder joke, the Adult Humour Mugs are there too. We'd skip those if he still lives at home and your mum is the one who unloads the dishwasher.
The one who only talks about football
You know the one. Ask how he is and you get a two-minute rundown of the back four. The Football Mugs are where he lives. If you know his team, you're halfway there. If you don't know his team, you haven't been listening, and no mug can fix that. It might help, mind.
The gamer
He's said "one more game" since roughly 2004. There are a few Gaming Mugs, but our favourite for him is the Arcade Themed Name Mugs, because they've got his name on and he'll like that more than he lets on. Ideal for keeping next to the controller, where it'll go cold because he forgot about it.
The brother with a big birthday coming up
A brother with a big birthday doesn't want to be told he's old. He wants to be told he isn't old, by someone who is clearly lying. Which is exactly what the 30, 40, 50.. Isn't Old Mugs are for.
If you want one just for his age, there are 18th, 21st, 30th, 40th and 50th Birthday Mugs, and the main Birthday Mugs collection if he's somewhere in between.
The brother who's just become an uncle
If you've had a baby this year, your brother got promoted without applying for the job. Mark it with something from the Uncle Mugs. It's a lovely way to tell him and a gentle hint that babysitting comes with the title. He'll work that out later.
The brother who has everything
He's bought himself the gadget, the jacket and the posh coffee machine. What he hasn't got is a mug with his own name on it that nobody else in the house is allowed to touch. The name collections are sorted by letter, so a Ben or a Callum is in Names A-C, and a Jack or a Liam is in Names J-L. If he likes things a bit more modern, have a look at the Hashtag Name Mugs.
I'd say this is the safest choice on the list. Nobody has ever been offended by seeing their own name.
Thinking ahead to Christmas
Not to panic anyone, but Christmas is about ten weeks away, and it's closer than it looks. If you're one of those organised people who sorts presents early, the Christmas Mugs are worth a look. If your family does a draw so nobody goes bankrupt, the Secret Santa collection is there for that.
And if you're the brother reading this
Hello. Your sibling has probably sent you this link as a hint. The decent thing would be to return the favour, and the Sister Mugs are a good place to start. You could even get it before she has to ask. Small steps.
Whichever brother you've got, the best mug is the one that sounds like you said it. Find that one and he'll use it every morning, even if he never says thanks.
